Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Struggles of Prepping

Hi all!

So I'm 17 days post competition and feeling a mixture of emotions. Once those sweets hit my tongue, its been difficult to curb the cravings. But we will talk about this another time!

Today's post is a look back on the journey and the struggles of prepping.  Let's jump into the time machine and travel back to May 30th (the start of summer for those that may not know).  Remember, the first 5 weeks of prep I was alone with no coach or help from anyone!

These are real quotes from my competition diary:

5/30/16- Week 1
"I'll have to switch my habits a little bit on the nights I get home from work. Instead of sitting on the couch, I'll have to prep my meals the day before and not wake up so late."

Nothing too crazy here, as the diet changes weren't that extreme. It was basically a continuation of what I had already been doing, just measured out and smaller portions.

There was a bit of a hiccup here when I found out my 8/20 show was cancelled, but shortly after I found the 8/27 show and got right back to business.

6/6/16- Week 2
"For the most part I'm sticking to the diet. I follow breakfast, lunch dinner and snack pretty good with no deviations.  At night it's tough because I want to snack or have wine. It's f*cking hard but I think its not a huge deal if I have a glass or a chocolate covered almond."

Again, nothing too crazy. I felt at this time because I was 12/13 weeks from show time, a few deviations from the plan wouldn't matter. Hey, how is a little chocolate covered almond now going to affect me 12 weeks from now, right?

6/12/16- Week 3
"The eating is not so bad. I like the cod fish with the wrap. I find that I'm satiated but I'm not sure if its too much protein. My body is feeling good and looking good."

6/19/16-  Week 3 
"The eating isn't bad, I actually like knowing what I'm eating for each meal and how much it will cost me at the market. Weekends are a little harder only because my schedule is off and I'm running errands all day. Trying to drink as much water as possible so I'm pissing every 5 seconds, but I'm looking shredded.

Starting to see some physical changes happening, and my body is starting to adapt to the meal plan. Physically seeing a difference as the weeks progress.

6/20/16- Week 4
"Feeling a little bloated today. Not sure why, I've been following the diet. Then I feel hungry but not really at the same time. Energy level is great and I'm happy and overall feeling great and strong. My arms are looking jacked and so is my back. I feel like my stomach isn't going down."

6/27/16- Week 5
"I'm starving, but its worth it. Eating is very challenging and to also live a somewhat normal life. LISS, torture!

7/3/16- Week 6
"Feeling good, getting more toned and lean every day. Energy levels are decreasing."

7/7/16 Week 6
"Starting posing. Woah, very difficult to squeeze and relax at the same time. But my body is getting used to it. I've been practicing just standing and keeping the pose. I'm super motivated and excited to see my weekly transformation. Today I felt lightheaded when I got up too quick and also I get cold to the point where my nipples hurt SO bad." 

7/8/16- Week 6
"My energy levels are low and I'm moody as f*ck"

Starting to physically feel a difference with energy levels and strict eating has become a little more demanding. Workouts are more intense. Hungry all the time. Starting to get emotional mood swings.

7/11/16- Week 7

I was away on vacation. No workouts (bike riding on the board walk all 3 days). Eating stayed as clean as possible. Breakfast and morning snacks stayed the same. Lunch and dinner choices were as clean and as close to what was allowed.

7/17/16- Week 7
"Today I'm feeling sad and detached. Feeling also like I'm getting sick. I'm feeling run down and anxious.

7/18/16- Week 8
"Feeling good and I look very defined, just my stomach needs to go down. Weighed in today at 109 lbs and 17% body fat. Just my lower abs need to be less fluffy."

Mood swings galore, anxious and excited. Extremely focused and driven. This has now taken over my life in every aspect. Weekends have become a lot of working out and staying in.

7/23/16- Week 9
"Feeling very strong and motivated. Feeling like I want to cry and missing my ice cream and cookies and eating out and wine. Going out for sushi. Workouts are 6x a week and cardio is 45 minutes low intensity."

7/26/16- Week 9
"Feeling emotional, want to cry, lonely, cranky, detatched, floating, annoyed, in control, blah, focused, intense, irritable. Health wise, skin is clear, feeling really strong, not bloated, powerful.  Looking really amazing, abs are coming in nicely, legs are starting to lean out. Shoulders and back are f*cking insane. Craving a chocolate chip muffin. What I've learned about myself, so strong extremely strong will power." 

7/28/16 Week 9
"Feeling really tired and not energized at all. I cried today. I feel like I want to break down any second. Feeling down and tired. Brain is a fog and a mess. I can't remember what day it is and having trouble remember words. 4 WEEKS OUT BABY KEEP GOING AND STAY STRONG! I love my body."

I am now on super low carb, and in ketosis. Totally affects every aspect of your life. It got to the point where standing up from being in a chair was too much effort. Energy levels extremely low and pissed off most of the time. 

7/30/16- Week 10
"Emotions are extremely irritable, angry, frustrated, annoyed, stuck but also loving my body. The transformation is incredible. I want coffee all the time. I'm not miserable, just emotional. I'm losing out on life and things I want/like to do.

7/31/16- Week 10
"4 1/2 weeks out, cardio was increased to an hour 6x a week. Fish 2x a day. Today I'm feeling ok, not emotional."

8/3/16- Week 10
"I'm feeling exhausted, full of energy to a certain point then its like BOOM no energy. But I'm excited and hopeful."

Every hour my emotions were different. I would break down and start crying for 10 minutes and then be totally fine afterwards. My motivation to keep going was by looking at where I was and how far I've gotten. Eye on the prize.

Diary entries have become more aggressive in tone, not as happy go lucky as the ones in the beginning. Tolerance levels for bulls*t decreased a lot. Overall mood is that of being tired, fed up, frustrated, overwhelmed. 

Down to DAYS at this point! It was getting closer and I could feel the excitement building.

8/15/16- 12 days out
"Feeling drained. Breathing and existing is a lot of work and effort. Sitting and standing takes a lot of effort. Posing is on point and my stomach looks awesome."

8/18/16- 9 days out
"I'm feeling extremely exhausted. It's hard to wake up in the morning, hard to stay awake and hard to function. I can't find the energy to workout, but I do it anyway. My body looks incredible though. The muscles in my legs are coming out nicely.

PEAK WEEK 8/21/16-8/27/16

"Feeling tired, drained, drinking a shit ton of water"

"Posing is on point and I'm feeling super confident about everything."

"3 days out and feeling excited, confident, motivated, pumped, thrilled, strong, beautiful, proud, driven, ready. I'm feeling super low energy and a bit light headed.


So there you have it, a quick look into the emotional and physical struggles that myself and other athletes go through while having to prep for a show. Please don't tell me it's easy, or that anyone can do this. It took 8 months for me to change my body, and 13 weeks to transform. Its all mental at the end of the day. What an amazing experience and I can't wait to do it all over again next year.

Until next time, stay fit, stay healthy!

Sunday, August 14, 2016

At the start of this year I promised myself that this would be the "year of me." That this year I would focus on doing things that I loved to do and to be happy. I find that time is just passing, slipping through my fingers and when I turn around, I've accomplished things, but for everyone else. I'm not that old (31 is NOT old) but I'm old enough to be somewhat set in my ways. I've gone through a lot the last 4 years, and I've learned more about myself living on my own for the past 2 years than I've ever known about myself before.  What I'm willing to put up with, and what I'm not.  No one and nothing will and can get in my way of that.

Recently I've decided to start my journey on self-discovery and self worth. I've embarked on something that is great, training for NPC Bikini Competitions..... I don't need to explain to anyone why I chose to do this, but what I can explain to you is the journey thus far.

Roughly six years ago, when I started my career in Personal Training, someone I met decided to do a Bikini Competition, and I thought it was super cool of her to do that.  She looked amazing in the photos and I wanted to be like her.  It made an impact on me because we are around the same age, and if she could do it, so could I.  It's always been something in the back of my mind to get up on stage and do what she did, but the timing never seemed right. I had talked about it, talked about it for years but there was always some excuse that got in the way. The funny thing about timing is that- well that there's NEVER a RIGHT TIME to do anything. You must MAKE time for something that you so desire. So this year, January 1st 2016, I said to myself you WILL be on stage in a Bikini Competition.  

My competition prep started roughly 11 weeks ago, memorial day weekend. I was looking for meals online because the plan was to do it all on my own. I'm a Trainer, how hard can it be right? So, I found something that seemed pretty good and I got 2 people to approve of it. Off I went, changing my eating and tracking progress on a weekly basis with pictures. I had a few cheat days in the beginning because 12 weeks is a long time and what harm can it really do? But my cheat days weren't all that crazy.  When I did cheat, I'd have sushi, or a burger without the bun. I stuck to grilled chicken and salad when I could. I didn't overindulge.  After 2 weeks on this new plan, I lost roughly 3 pounds and 2% body fat.  

One day, I saw this woman walking around the gym, looking great and I was like I need to talk to her. So, a few days later she walked into the gym and I stalked her to the leg press machine and I was straight up like "you look great! do you train for anything?!" I discovered that she was a fitness competitor and that she was a coach as well. I started with her roughly June 26th. I was about to start the next 4 weeks of prep and I wanted to start looking for a posing coach. Just like that, the universe brought her to me.  (Sometimes you have to ask for what you want, and the answers just appear).  I've been with her ever since and so far its been great.

Current status: 2 weeks (13 days out) from show time. Last week I weighed in at 108lbs. Posing practice is going well, and I'm feeling great. My diet hasn't changed this week, she's kept it the same for 2 weeks. Peak week starts 8/20. Already booked my hair and makeup for show day, gotta book my tanning. Competition suite was purchased roughly 8 weeks out ,wish I waited a little longer because I did drop some weight since the order was placed. I have to book my hair appointment (red with blonde). Competition jewelry is already purchased and ready to go. I may have to buy another ring, the one I have isn't big enough. 

Current mood: Excited, tired, anxious, lets just do this already, August please take your time, irritable, determined, just get through it, I kind of need a hug right now but also stay the hell away from me. 

Cravings: none really but really excited to eat the goodies in my freezer and excited for 8/28. PASTA and COOKIES! Maybe a glass of white wine? 

Meal plan: CARBS: 1/4 cup of oatmeal, 2 oz white potato, 1/4 white rice
               PROTEIN: 4 oz chicken, 4 oz white fish, Arbonne Vegan protein shakes, Dymatize Casein
               FATS: almond butter
               VEGGIES: broccoli, spinach, asparagus, green beans, zucchini 

Overall, feeling pretty good. Check back soon for a more in-depth look at the actual struggles of doing this. 

Sunday, January 17, 2016

D.tox prep day 1

So, it's been a while since I've written on here. But today I'm starting prep week for an awesome cleanse program called D.tox from Lifetime athletic.  Lifetime is a high end, top of the line facility that has everything from a weight floor to a kids activity center.  It is the place for families because everything you need is there.  Hungry? Grab a bite to eat at the cafe. Or just chill in the pool or sauna after a butt kicking workout with me!

Anyway, today is day 1 of prep week, during this week I start to remove toxins from my daily routine such as: coffee, alcohol, sugars and start increasing physical activity. I think coffee will be the hardest part but I've already made a conscious decision last week to start decreasing my intake to just 1 cup a day.  So far it hasn't been that bad.  My birthday just passed so I guess I'll have to freeze the rest of my birthday cake so that I'm not tempted to eat any... Along with these brownies.

 I can't wait to start this program.  I will be taking weekly photos to keep track of my progress as well as writing a daily post to keep you all in the loop.

Here we go!